My dad took this picture a long time ago. You can tell that I have a tiny family. My parents separated when I was 15, and by separated I mean that Mom, my brother and I moved from Indianapolis, Indiana to Portland, Oregon the summer before my junior year of high school. They divorced a year later, and I can count the number of times I went back to Indiana on one hand.
I’m sure life wasn’t easy raising two teens in a strange town by herself, with no friends or family nearby. She started working, which was hard with no work experience since she married. My brother and I didn’t make life extremely easy for her, but according to her college friends, it was a “most exciting life”.
My brother and I made friends quickly at school and even more at the skating rink, where we spent every available evening with Mom in tow. I loved my mom for her stability and respectability in the midst of a chaotic times. Mom would sometimes let us take our friends to dinner. Some of our newly chosen friends were downright characters, and had the mouths of sailors, which my younger brother and I found hilarious. So Mom made “restaurant rules”. The only two I still remember was no talking about sex and bloody operations at the table. We all thought that was hilarious, so we loved baiting her. Poor Mama. But she made it and lived to be 80 years old, and much beloved by both children.
Although neither of my parents ever remarried, my brother and I had grandparents and great grandparents. My parents were both only children. So that eliminated aunts, uncles and cousins, except for “gray aunts”, as I dubbed my grandfather’s sisters when I was about 2. Even my mother’s mother was an only child. My mother had one cousin a year older than she, whom I met for the FIRST time LAST YEAR! There were some “gray aunts” on my father’s side as well, and some of them married and had children whom I knew slightly when I was a child. I think he had two cousins on his mom’s side, and one or two on his dad’s side.
My brother and I both married, but had no children. That eliminated nieces, nephews, children, grandchildren, etc. I’ve had two husbands, the first one passed away of a genetic disorder when he was 47, and I remarried. I have one step-son by my second marriage, but no grandchildren. My second husband also has a brother and sister, and his brother has two children, but no grandchildren. His sister never married.
They say you can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family. Well that’s certainly been helpful for me. I have wonderful friends who have become my family. Now I write this blog, which started out as an experiment in blogging. It has become more than that. Each day I write to leave a record of who I am and have been to pass on to someone who might be interested enough to read this. My friends, yes, but more than that.
You can’t choose your family. That means something totally different as I sit here and write this. I destroyed 20 years of journals so that no one would find them and discover the real me – you know the mean, selfish, sinful person I am inside, the stuff YOU tell YOUR SISTER – I write out to get rid of all that poison. Yeah, those journals are gone forever – along with all the good stuff I wrote – book reviews, poems, lesson plans, etc. I couldn’t choose who would see those when I was gone, and it was sad to think of someone else just tossing them, or worse – READING them, so I shredded them.
So back to the family thing. When I started blogging, I discovered that some things that I write people actually read, and respond back to me. Paula says she reads every day. Others say they read on a regular basis. My husband has even started reading my blog. Do you know how wonderful that makes me feel??? It’s amazing.
Can I choose my family? Even my “pretend” or adopted family? I can’t even choose them. How would I ever know who will care enough to read the record of my life? Some of YOU will read and respond. I can’t tell you how much it means to me. I’ve always been a talker, but writing is different. I toil over my words when I write, and I put my heart into them. When you read my writing, you know my heart and my soul – sour and sore as it may be from time to time. When you choose to read my writing, you chose to become my family, in a remote sort of way.
So thanks for reading and caring. Now that I’ve confided in you the real reason I’m writing this journal, it’s only fair for you to tell me. For whom do you write your blog and why?
I write my blog for you! And everyone like you. Glad we’ve met through blogging. Am looking forward to reading your posts. Many thanks for the award. I’m a bit confused by how to celebrate these awards while keeping my blog on the lots of restful white space side. I don’t like to look at clutter and we all have too much to process and look at, so I like to be a place of rest. I will certainly post it on my FB page where clutter is all the rage. All the best!!
Some people create another page just for their awards. I guess I just like to brag!! Congratulations!
Glad you had such a wonderful mother. What a difference she made in your life! Thank you for sharing pieces of your life with us
My mom was a dear. We were more like sisters at times because she was an only child, and my grandmother raised us both simultaneously. (Well she had a 25 year head start on me!!) My grandmother always called me by Mom’s name, Peggy.
Marsha
I never has a sister just three brothers and what I can tell you today is I thought I had the perfect life but as we grew and made our own way in life it was just the parents in our family home we were ever really close to. I loved my brothers and we all have issues but I swear I never knew we would become the strangers we have and mostly after Dad passed away.
I am so glad I met you here in BLOG WORLD and welcome you into my family
AWWWWWW, that’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me today! I have to tell you then, that you have another sister named Eternal Traveler AKA Carol in Australia. We became sisters about a week or two ago!!! And we have a niece! Then there’s my “daughter” Paula right here i Tulare County who used to be my secretary. OH so many wonderful relatives!!! I’m so happy to be part of your family, too!!!! What a great year we have to look forward to. (pardon the preposition at the end.) Lots of love, Sis.
Marsha 
I feel the same way I have the best group of Brothers and Sisters here you being one of them
Love you
Sis
Eunice
Good to hear about you and your family, I always thought mine is tiny. I have one sister, the best in the world, my old parents in a home, and one real anuty and 2 cousins. There are mor old distant cousins or aunties but I never got to know them and my mum is only in contact with 2.
My sister has no children so the name “Maier” is dying out…. haha not really so many Maiers in the world. Funny think is my boys are more British than German, so my “family” will continue in Britain…. if I ever get grandchildren that is…no rush!
Thank you for being in my family, I count my wonderful friends and my church friends also to my family!
Awesome, Ute. I already considered you like a sister. Now it’s official. Just seconds ago we also became related to Eunice, and a couple of weeks ago, Carol. So we’ll have to get together for a family reunion!! We can do it when you and Ralph are here!!! Lots of love, Sis, Marsha Lee
That sounds fantastic!
Hi Ms. Marsha.!!
Thanks for the invitation to write here in your blogspace. So the question was, “…for whom do you write your blog, and why?” I will admit to being a little selfish about it. I write the blog for me. As a retired military man and former college administrator and teacher, I thought I had a lot to say. The truth is, I just enjoy writing. I have had other blogs, but this is the first one I have kept active for more than a few weeks. I don’t do it for the recognition. I don’t write what I think folks want to read. I don’t intentionally try to stir things up. And I am not trying to sell anything. I write because I enjoy it and find it liberating to be able to expose your thoughts without worry of recrimination. No subject is taboo and I willingly cross pencils with anyone who wants to do so and can manage reasoned discourse.
Sorry Marsha, I guess I can’t be one of your sisters…huh??
Love your blog.!!
Be well,
Howard
BTW, I was born in California and lived most of my younger life there.
I met you on Ralph’s site, then again on Sharechair’s I think, anyway, I thought I should head over and see what you had to say for yourself. What a fun blog. I hope you keep it going for a long time. No, we can’t be sisters. i’m sorry. I have positions open for brothers. Will that do?
Where in CA?
Wow! Sure, I could be your brother! I never thought of that!
CA is a big state. Born in Santa Cruz….lived all over the southern part of the state from beach towns to Palm Springs and places in between (moved a lot when I was young..). All this before moving northward to what the locals like to call Superior California. Lived in the gold country for some years–Grass Valley/Nevada City area….I have a lot of history in California!!!
Wow, you really did travel all over. My first husband had an uncle in Grass Valley. We live new the Sequoia National Park, and I’ve been here a while!!! I look forward to getting better acquainted this year.
Sounds great. I will be watching for your posts.
H.
Your mom sounds wonderful. That is something I never got! My dad is a great man. My mom is a drug addict! So, I know you feel proud to have her!
I am so sorry! My mom was a doll. Dad, not so much, but even he had his good points. I wasn’t the best daughter sometimes! Since I had no children of my own, I’m up for adoption. So if you need a pretend mom, just call on me!!!
Marsha Lee 
aww, thanks. You are really to kind! Thank you for your kind words. I know I wasn’t the best daughter most of the time. I didn’t realize how much I loved & cared about him til I was older. And now he is getting sick. But, the Lord watches over him. And he knows what is best:) Sorry for all the yapping
The sad thing is that we are all human. We often don’t do things right. We do the best we can, and trust God to fill in the blanks where we totally mess up. And we do what we can to fix and apologize to others for the mistakes (and/or sins). Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. Then we have to trust God to work the miracles.
God bless both you and your dad. 
Thank you. You say what I need to hear:)
We all need it, don’t we. Mom used to say, “Marsha, if you were perfect, everyone would hate you because they’re not!!!” Yes, my mom was a gem.
I still always wanted to be perfect, though! So far I’ve been a miserable failure at it, and I’ve been trying for 61 years. 
The good news is that many people love me anyway!! hahaha 
‘m sure ! Because you are one of the sweetest people I know! Most people here are rude!
You’ve met different people than I have, I guess. Thanks for the compliment. Just remember that you don’t have to visit their blogs if they are weird. And if they write something on your blog you don’t like, you have the power to delete the comment. People on the internet can be very real and part of your life, but they certainly don’t have to be. They’re easy to avoid. Here’s my email if you ever want to talk. tchistorygal@gmail.com.
ok, I added it to my email list
And I def will use it !
Great! I’ll look forward to hearing from you, both on the blog, and by email.
Do you have a facebook page as well ?
Yes, https://www.facebook.com/marsha.ingrao1 I have a fan page as well. https://www.facebook.com/MarshaIngrao?ref=hl Let me know if those work.
Hi Marsha,
I’m so glad you visited my blog. Your comment about my mom really touched me. Thank you. Ute and I connected not long ago and we’ve forged a great connection with each other. She’s become quite dear to me in the short period of time we’ve been in touch. I agree that friends are our chosen family.We are blessed by our friends… I’ll enjoy following you and reading what you write.
Thank you Lori. We do have to fill in the gaps with others that we love or we would wither and die.
Marsha Lee 